Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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