How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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