I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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