Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I have aggressive nipples.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
