If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
