Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the room spins SO much faster in panama
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I think people are normalizing furries
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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