I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
