Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
