I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
