did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize