That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
