my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
