We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
