Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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