the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
