he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
