Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I FOUND THE LEGS
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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