You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
