guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she pinky promised me she was 18
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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