the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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