Plan B is the new Plan A
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
it wasn't lemon gatorade
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
