Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
