no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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