I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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