Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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