didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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