I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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