Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
