but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
