come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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