As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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