the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
