i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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