There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
