In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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