Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
