i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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