he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize