Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Welp...herpes.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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