Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
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