he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
