So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
