Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
