After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
