Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
