i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
