I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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