Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
