I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
