I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
