what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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