I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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