Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
