i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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